Cass was the most beautiful girl in town by Charles Bukowski
(with a few minor lyrical adjustments...)
Cass was the youngest and most beautiful of 5 sisters.
Cass was the most beautiful girl in town. 1/2 Indian, 1/2 supple with a
strange snake-like body, her fiery eyes simply stared you down
like a cobra; into a trance that spelled romance...
Cass was the most beautiful girl in town.
She was fluid flaming movement. She was like a spirit stuck
in a form that would not bridle her. Her hair was dark and long and silent
and whirled about as she did her dance. She was some kind of crazy.
She was some kind of wonder girl, living in a wonderful world
The dull ones said that. The dull ones would never understand Cass.
To me she was everything, to men she was simply a sex object and they didn't care
whether she came or not. As long as she sat on their lap
Cass danced and flirted, kissed many men, but except for an instant
She had painted herself into a corner with her beauty
Cass had somehow slipped away, eluded the men.
Her sisters accused her of toying with them, of not using her mind enough,
but Cass had both mind and spirit; She painted, she danced, she flirted,
she played with things made of clay, and when people hurt her in spirit or flesh,
Cass felt a deep grieving for them.
Her mind was simple not practical. Her mind was simply different;
Her sisters were jealous because she attracted their men,
and they were angry because they felt she didn't make the best use of them.
Cass had a habit of being kind to the uglier ones; the so-called
handsome men revolted her- "No guts," she said, "no zeal. They are riding on
their perfect little earlobes and well- shaped hats...all appearance and no guts..."
Cass had a temper that came close to sass, she had a temper that some
call insanity. Her father had died from alcohol poisoning and her mother had run off
with a bone headed guy from Utah, who promised her salvation
leaving the girls alone to fend for themselves. Cass was the youngest and
most beautiful of 5 sisters. The girls went to relatives who placed them in a convent.
The convent had been an unhappy place, more for Cass than the sisters.
Cass was the youngest and most beautiful of 5 sisters.
The girls were jealous of Cass and she often offended them, but they insisted
that Cass be submissive; Cass fought to fend them off. She had razor marks
all along her left arm from defending herself in two fights. There was also a permanent scar
along her left cheek but rather than lessening her beauty, only seemed to heighten it.
I met her at a bar fight, never get between a girl and girl fight, bar none;
Bar several girls after, they may scratch each other’s eyes out, but they will never
come to no harm. Being the youngest, she was the last of the sisters to be released
from the convent. She simply came and sat down next to me. I was probably the
ugliest man in town and this might have had something to do with it.
"Drink?" I asked. -- "Sure, why not?" I don't suppose there was anything unusual about that,
It simply lay in the feeling that I could tell her anything and I wanted to say nothing.
She had chosen me, plain and simple. No pressure. No man in a hat. She liked that
Whiskey straight up. She loved her drinks and had a great number of them.
She didn't quite seem of age but then who’s askin’? Perhaps I should have, but I didn’t.
She was with me. And Cass was the most beautiful girl in town.
Anyway, each time she left to the restroom and came back and sat down next to me,
I did feel some envy. Cass was the most beautiful girl in town.
She was not only the most beautiful woman in town but also one of the most beautiful I had
ever seen. I placed my arm about her waist and kissed her once.
"Do you think I'm pretty?" she asked. "Yes, of course”, I siad, “but there's something else...
there's more than your looks... there’s your spirit" -- "People are always accusing me of being pretty.
How do you feel about that?" -- "Pretty isn't the word, it hardly does you fair."
Cass reached into her handbag. I thought she was reaching for her handkerchief. She
came out with a long hatpin. She said “You see this? This is what the other men get,
men with hats,” and before I could stop her she had run this long hatpin through
her nose, sideways, just above the nostrils. I felt disgust and horror. She looked at me
and laughed, "Now you think I’m pretty? Well do you, man?" I pulled out the hatpin and held out
my hand with the handkerchief over the bleeding pin. Several people, including the bartender,
seen the act and thought that I hit her...
"Look," he said to me and Cass, "you act up again and you're out. We don't need your bloody act."
"Oh, fuck you, man!" she said. -- "Better keep her straight," the bartender said to me.
"She'll be all right," I said. -- "It's my nose, I can do what I want with it."
"No," I said, "it hurts me." -- "You mean it hurts you when I stick a pin in my nose?"
"Yes, it does, I mean..." "All right, I won't do it again. Cheer up. I promise I won't do it again."
She kissed me flat, right there and then, rather grinning through the kiss and holding
the handkerchief to her nose. I fell for her. Then, we left for my place at closing time.
I had some beers and we sat there talking. It was then that I got the perception of her
as a person full of kindness and caring to men. She gave herself away without knowing it or them.
All the same she would leap back into a wildn dance or talk in incoherences.
Schitzi. A beautiful and spiritual schitzi. Perhaps some man, something, would ruin her forever.
I hoped that I wouldn't be that man. We went to bed and after I turned out the lights Cass asked me,
"When do you want it? Now or in the morning?" -- "In the morning," I said with a groggy head.
In the morning I got up and made a couple of coffees, brought her one in bed. She laughed and said,
"You're the first man who has turned it down at night." -- "It's o.k.," I said, "I dont need it."
"No, wait, I want to now. Let me freshen up a bit." Cass went into the bathroom. She came out shortly,
looking quite done up, her long brown hair hung silently, her eyes and lips glistening, her glistening...
She displayed her body soft and calmly, as an offering. She got under the sheet.
"Come on, lover man." I got in. She kissed with abandon but without haste. I let my hands
run over her body, through her hair. I mounted her. It was hot, it was tight. I began to
stroke her with slow caresses, looking into her eyes, I wanted to make it last.
Her eyes looked directly into mine. "What's your name?" I asked.
"What the hell difference does it make?" she asked. Cass was the most beautiful girl in town.
I laughed and then went down. And on ahead, and hung in space without a sound
Afterwards she dressed and I drove her back to the bar but she was difficult to forget.
I wasn't working and I slept until 2 p.m. then got up and read the paper.
I was in the bathtub when she came in with a large ear- an elephant leaf.
"I knew you'd be in the tub," she said, "so I brought you something to cover that thing with, nature boy..."
She threw the elephant leaf down on me in the bathtub. "How did you know I'd be in the tub?"
"I knew." Almost every day Cass arrived when I was in the tub. The times were different but she
seldom missed, and there was the elephant leaf. And when we'd make love. One or two nights
she phoned and I had to bail her out of jail for drunkenness and fighting.
"Theose sons of bitches," she said, "just because they buy you a few drinks they think theyown you."
“They think they can get in your pants” -- "Once you accept a drink you create your own trouble."
"I thought they were interested in me, not just my body."
"I'm interested in you and your body. I doubt that most men can see beyond that."
I left town for 6 months, bummed around, came back. I had never forgotten Cass, but
we'd had some type of argument and I felt like moving anyhow, and when I got back I
figured that she'd gone, but I had been sitting in the West End Bar about 30 minutes when
in walks Cass and she sat down next to me. "Well, bastard, I see you've come back."
I ordered her a drink. Then I looked at her. She had on a high- necked dress. I had
never seen her in one of those. And under each eye, driven in, were glass heads on 2 pins.
All you could see were the heads of the pins, but the pins were driven down into her face.
"God damn you, still trying to destroy your beauty, eh?"
"No, it's the fad, dad."
"You're crazy."
"I' missed you," she said.
"Is there anybody else?"
"No there isn't anybody else. Just you. But I'm hustling. It costs ten bucks. But you get it free."
"Pull those pins out."
"No, it's the fad."
"It's making me very unhappy."
"Are you sure?"
"Hell yes, I'm sure."
Cass slowly pulled the pins out and put them back in her purse.
"Why do you haggle your beauty?" I asked. "Why don't you just live with it?"
"Because people think it's all I have. Beauty is nothing, beauty won't stay. You
don't know how lucky you are to be ugly, because if people like you you know it's for youself."
"O.k.," I said, "I'm lucky."
"I don't mean you're ugly. People just think you're ugly. You have a fascinating face."
"Thanks."
We had another drink.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Nothing. I can't get on to anything. No interest."
"Me neither. If you were a woman you could hustle."
"I don't think I could ever make contact with that many strangers, it's wearing."
"You're right, it's wearing, everything is wearing."
We left together. People still stared at Cass on the streets. She was a beautiful
woman, perhaps more beautiful than ever. We made it to my place and I opened a bottle of
wine and we talked. With Cass and I, it always came easy. She talked a while and I would
listen and then I would talk. Our conversation never stopped, it simply went along without strain.
We seemed to discover secrets together. When we discovered a good one Cass would laugh
that laugh- the way that only she could. It was like joyful fire. Through the talking we kissed and
moved closer together. We became quite heated and decided to go to bed. It was then that
Cass took off her high -necked dress and I saw it- the ugly jagged scar across her throat.
It was large and thick. There was a tragic beauty in it.
"God damn you, woman," I said from the bed, "god damn you, what have you done?”
"I tried it with a broken bottle one night. Don't you like me any more? Am I still beautiful?"
I pulled her down on the bed and kissed her. She pushed away and laughed, "Some
men pay me ten and I undress and they don't want to do it. I keep the ten. It's very funny."
"Yes," I said, "I can't stop laughing... Cass, I love you bitch...stop destroying yourself;
You're the most alive woman I've ever met."
We kissed again. Cass was crying without sound. I could feel the tears. Her long hair
lay next to me like a flag of death. We enjoined and enjoyed one another’s body
for hte first time agian; She felt somehow different, like absence could change her,
made slow and somber and wonderful love. In the morning Cass was up making breakfast.
She seemed quite calm and happy then. She was singing. I stayed in bed and enjoyed her happiness.
Finally she came over and shook me, “Up, bastard! Throw some cold water on your
face and pecker and enjoy the feast!"
I drove her to the beach that day. It was a weekday and not yet summer so things were
splendidly deserted. Beach bums in rags slept on the lawns above the sand. Others sat on
stone benches sharing a lone bottle. The gulls whirled about, mindless yet distracted. Old
ladies in their 70's and 80's sat on the benches and discussed selling real estate left
behind by husbands long ago killed by the pace and stupidity of survival. For it all,
there was peace in the air and we walked about and stretched on the lawns and didn't say
anything. It simply felt good being together.
I bought a couple of sandwiches, some chips and drinks and we sat on the sand eating.
Then I held Cass and we slept together about an hour. It was somehow better than lovemaking.
There was flowing together without tension.
When we awakened we drove back to my place and I cooked a dinner. After dinner I suggested
to Cass that we shack together. She waited a long time, looking at me, then she slowly said,
"No." I drove her back to the bar, bought her a drink and walked out.
I found a job as a parker in a factory the next day and the rest of the week went to work.
I was too tired to get about much, but that Friday night I did get to the West End Bar.
I sat and waited for Cass. Hours went slowly by. After I was fairly drunk the bartender said,
"I'm sorry friend, about your girlfriend."
"What is it?" I asked.
"I'm sorry, didn't you know?"
"No."
"Suicide. She was buried yesterday."
"Buried?" I asked. It seemed as though she would walk through the doorway at any moment. How could she be gone?
"Her sisters buried her."
"A suicide? Mind telling me how?"
"She cut her throat."
"I see. Give me another drink."
I drank until closing time. Cass was the most beautiful of 5 sisters,
Cass was the most beautiful girl in town.
I managed to drive to my place and I kept thinking, I should have insisted
she stay with me instead of accepting that "no." Everything about her
had indicated that she had cared. I simply had been too offhand about it, lazy, unconcerned.
I deserved my death and hers. I was a dog. No, why blame the dogs? I got up
and found a bottle and drank from it heavily. Tears welled in my eyes.
Cass the most beautiful girl in town, was dead at 20. Outside
somebody honked their automobile horn. They were very loud and persistent.
I sat the bottle down and screamed out: "GOD DAMN YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH,SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
The night kept coming and there was nothing I could do.
Charles Bukowski with a few minor adjustments...
Sunset Gun--Love is a Doc From Hell - Who Is Charles Bukowski?
http://burroughsman.livejournal.com/5446.html.
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